Category Archives: Spiritual Change

Posts related to spiritual change

Death, Taxes, and Political Shenanigans

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As we head into 2 weeks of national conventions, I thought I’d post some memorable and funny quotes about politicians.  You may be surprised that some of them are over 1000 years old.  Maybe we need to revise the adage that there are only 2 certainties in life–death and taxes.  To that, I’ll add political shenanigans.

Enjoy!

The problem with political jokes is they get elected.  Henry Cate, VII

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.  Aesop

If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these acceptance speeches, there wouldn’t be any inducement to go to heaven.  Will Rogers

Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.  Plato

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.  Nikita Khrushchev

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President;  I’m beginning to believe it.  Clarence Darrow

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you.  Author Unknown

Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.   John Quinton

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other.  Oscar Ameringer

I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the truth about them.  Adlai Stevenson, campaign speech 1952

A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.  Texas Guinan

Any American who is prepared to run for president should automatically, by definition, be disqualified from ever doing so.  Gore Vidal

I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.  Charles de Gaulle

Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.  Ronald Reagan

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.  Doug Larson

Don’t vote, it only encourages them.  Author Unknown

There ought to be one day – just one – when there is open season on senators.  Will Rogers

Hey! Do You Feel Lucky Today?

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Do you feel lucky?

Well, you should.  Here’s a link to 500 movies, audiobooks, courses, language lessons, and e-books.  What’s more, they are absolutely free.   This site, provided by Open Culture, links to open source material on the web.  Enjoy!

http://www.openculture.com/freemoviesonline

How to Silence the Dictator: Part 2

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Part 2 of the post “Taming Your Inner Dictator.”

In an earlier post we discussed the need to silence our inner dictators, the voices inside our heads which cast doubt on our abilities and fill us with fear.  We can call this tyrant our “little self”–to borrow a term from Dr. Jean Houston, a social scientist whose life work has been studying how people all over the world find and achieve their true purpose in life.  How do they do it?  She says the answer is simple.  They have activated their “Higher Self.” 

This “Higher Self” is the eternal, ego-less part of us that exists far beyond our daily demands and worries.  It is quiet, timeless, and tranquil.  As mentioned in part I of this post, some people find this place in acts of creation, others find it in meditation, prayer, and yoga.

Finding Your Higher Self

She goes on to say that most of us make the same mistake by letting our “smaller” selves dictate our lives.  This little “dictator” keeps us on an emotional roller coaster, dependent on that day’s triumphs and tragedies.  Were we late for work?  Did we have a fight with our partner?  Did we get that raise or promotion?

In contrast, the Higher Self exists beyond the present.  It is timeless.  It is connected to the divine, the cosmos, the universal.  In that higher mindset, we can find the truth of who we are, and “experience our unique purpose.”

She has shared a 5-minute meditation which will help you access your higher self.   I’ve provided the link below.  If you try it, let me know what you think.  I hope you find it as helpful as I did.

A 5-Minute Audio Practice to Access Your Higher Self

LISTEN OR DOWNLOAD NOW



Taming the Little Dictator

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I am fascinated with dictators.  Short men with tall egos who tyrannize millions of people.   Unfortunately, we have many examples in the last century-Stalin, Franco, Mussolini, Hitler, to name a few.  But there are other dictators, who are less obvious, but no less threatening.

Charlie Chaplin from the film “The Great Dictator.”

They are our inner dictators, the voices inside our heads which cast doubts on our looks, skills, and abilities.  Perhaps they are the voices of authority we heard as children, who were demanding or unreasonable.  They tell us we are not clever enough or talented enough.  They chase away our confidence and fill us with dread.   They tell us if we try and fail, we will look like fools.  They convince us that we will never be good enough.

I am tired of my little dictator who wakes me up in the middle of the night and whispers in my ear.  Are you?  But how do we banish them?  The musician, Kenny Werner in his book Effortless Mastery tells us how.  He reminds us that the dictator is the unique voice of our ego (our limited “I” consciousness).  It tyrannizes and deludes us into thinking we are the center of the universe.  The Hindus named this state of being maya or disillusion. It keeps us locked in a limited state of mind and disconnects us from wider awareness of the universal mind or sadhana, which is generous, loving, and joyful.

Can you recall a time when you were connected to the universal?  It is easy to remember because in those moments, we are filled with peace and happiness.  We glide through whatever we are doing.  I can recall one of those moments when I was swimming years ago in an outdoor pool one summer afternoon.  Every stroke was effortless.  My mind and body were intensely aware of the sunlight sparkling on the water, the trees bowing and sweeping in the breeze, the smells of suntan lotion, and the feel of the water slaking off my skin.  It was pure joy.  In those moments of connection, we feel the magnificence of who we truly are–because our egos are silent.

So, here’s his first step for banishing the little dictator who rules our egos with an iron fist.  Get honest with ourselves.  Control our minds.  How?  Cultivate detachment, so that we are experiencing life separate from our egos.  Some people practice that detachment in prayer, others through yoga and meditation.  Still others through the act of creation–in music, poetry, prose, painting, cooking or gardening–you name it.  Anything that quiets the mind and let’s you focus on the moment.  Some of you will insist you are not creative.  But I disagree.  We are all creative beings–whether we sew or paint or knit or cook or garden.  No one act is better or loftier than other.

In these timeless, self-less moments, we are creating an inner creative space which is joyful and boundless.  In my next post, I will continue to explore ways we can create these ego-free moments of peace.

My goal this week is to tame the little dictator by taking more time to create and spending less time on self-criticism, worry, doubt and fear.  In the meantime, I invite you to share one of those blissful moments when you experienced the universal.  Have a wonderful week!

The “A” List

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When I went back to grad school a few years ago, my husband and son teased me about my grades.   “You’re an overachiever, Mom,” my son said.

“Only an A?” my husband teased.  “Why not an A+?”

All right.  It’s true.  I can be an obsessive Type A, especially when it comes to school.  Each test, each project was a gauntlet, a challenge that I wanted to win, I needed to win.

Now that my diploma is safely tucked under my arm, I can admit that I needed that 4.0 as a visible sign of my intelligence, as proof that I deserved to be recognized, I deserved a place in the spotlight.

Are you like me–eager to shine, eager to be rewarded?  Do you yearn for your “15-minutes” of fame?  Have you thought about why you need this affirmation?  Here’s a liberating and thought-provoking 30-second quiz I came across on a fellow-blogger’s site.  No need to grab a pen and paper, just read the questions and think a little about them:

1.  Name the five wealthiest people in the world.

2.  Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.

3.  Name the last five winners of the Miss America contest.

4.  Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer prize.

5.  Name the last five Academy Award winners for Best Actor and Actress.

How did you do?  If you’re like me, you had trouble remembering more than a few names.  But the point here is that many top achievers stay in the spotlight for just a short time and do not linger in our memories.  After the applause fades away and the awards collect dust, their achievements are often forgotten.

Now here’s another quiz.  Let’s see how you do on this one:

1. Name three teachers who aided your journey through school.

2. Name three friends who helped you through a difficult time.

3. Name five people who have taught you something worth while.

4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.

5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Easier?  I suspect so.  But the point is, which list would you want to be on?   When I was younger, I would have told you I wanted be on the “A” list.  I wanted the wider fame, the bigger accolades.  But now, I am a bit wiser.   The recognition I was seeking in grad school could not be earned merely by good grades.  It needed to come from within me.  And equally as important, the recognition that meant the most came from the people I love.  And finally, I learned that the achievement I value the most is to have an impact on the lives of the people who are dear to me. These people are special, not because of their credentials, their money, or their awards.  They make a difference because of their kindness, their love and concern, and their wisdom.

Perhaps this seems obvious to you.  But for me, this was a lesson I needed to learn.  And so, my question to you is–has your definition of success changed as you’ve grown older? If so, how?  What type of recognition do you desire?  Is the recognition you have received “enough,” or do you want more?

Claiming Your Happiness

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“My sister was my best friend when we were growing up, but that changed when we were teenagers,” she said, standing in the spotlight on stage amidst the other members of the chorus.  She paused.  “She became interested in boys and I didn’t.”

All of us in the audience laughed, but our laughter faded as she described what happened next.  She told her family she was gay and they refused to accept it.  She told them she loved a woman, but her family would not acknowledge them as a couple.  Instead, they called the woman she loved a “roommate.”

When her younger sister announced her marriage plans, the woman’s family gave her ultimatum–come alone to the wedding or don’t come at all.  “I did not go,” she said.

Their relationship improved over the years as members of her family tried to mend the rift.   Her sister divorced.   Her parents divorced, and still her own partnership endured.

But now, her sister is re-marrying.  “I want to go the wedding and bring my partner, the woman I have loved for over 20 years,” she told us.  But again, her family said,  “Come alone.”

“What should I do?” she asked the audience.

“Don’t go,” someone shouted from the back of the theater.

She nodded and paused.  “I’m not going,” she said and people started to cheer.  “I refuse to go if they don’t recognize who I am and the woman I love.”

Alone in the spotlight, she paused and looked out at us in the audience.  We were still applauding as she left the stage.

It is days later and I am still thinking of her courage, which is humbling and immense.  It reminds me how, many years ago, I said “no,” to my family when they objected to the man I loved and wanted to marry because of his religion.  Like the woman in the theater, I said “no” to the people who were supposed to love me unconditionally, and in doing so, I claimed my own happiness.  In fighting for the life I wanted, with the man I loved and still love, I have taken a new path in life which has brought me immense joy.

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History books are written about people with courage.  We erect statues to them.  Perhaps they battled against governments, against invading armies, against oppressors, against diseases, against basic human rights.  But there are thousands of others who fight nearly alone, who take tremendous risks to do what their hearts and minds tell them is the right thing to do.  And in doing so, they stake their own claims for happiness.  This is what you and I do when we break from the old scripts, the old paths and start anew.  It is not easy.  In fact, saying “no” was one of the hardest things I have ever done.  But it has liberated me, just as it will liberate you.  It will take us into new territory, and fill us with unexpected joy.

And so, I wish you courage, my friends,  as you say no to the people who want to write your scripts, who want to tell you how you should live your life.  I applaud you as you say “no” and stake your claim to happiness.

Nominated for the Versatile Blogger Award!

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I am grateful to fellow blogger S.L. Klesko at Truthbits and Thoughlets for nominating me for the Versatile Blogger Award!  I am honored to be singled out by such a fine and thoughtful writer.

In turn, I will follow the terms of the nomination, which are:

1. Thank the blogger who has awarded you and link back to them.   Done!

2. Share seven things about yourself.  Here my list:

–I have many interests and passions–photography, writing, learning, food, travel, languages, philosophy, and spirituality.

–Although I’ve lived in rural, suburban, and urban areas, I’ll always be a city girl.

–I flew a plane (a Cessna) before I drove a car.

–One of my proudest moments was attending my son’s graduation from Savannah College of Art and Design last June.

–My husband has been my best friend since I was 19.  Life with him has been a wonderful adventure.

–Two of my greatest desires are to live abroad and publish my novels.

–These movies can always lift me out of a bad mood– Legally Blonde, Miss Congeniality, Casablanca, Cinema Paradiso, To Kill A Mockingbird, and It’s a Wonderful LIfe.

3. Pass the award along to 5 (or so) other newly discovered blogs.  Here are my nominations from around the globe….(Drum roll, please.)

Truthbits and Thoughtlets

Allison Carmen

Whispers of the Heart

Vineet 

Lemonissimo 

I encourage you to take a look at their blogs.  Hopefully, you will enjoy the glimpses into their worlds, their minds, and their hearts as much as I do!

Thank you all for your support!

Patti

Finding Pearls Amongst the Stones

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For our first appointment, Albert* showed up at my door, fidgeting nervously.  He shook my hand, and then reached into his pocket, pulling out a candy bar.  A gift for me.  He explained that he was taught to be nice to his teachers.

I was coaching Albert through some required annual education.  He had lost some executive and motor function due to a brain injury when he was young.  As a result, he had trouble completing reading and writing tasks, retaining information in long term memory, and using the computer.  His supervisor in the kitchen had told me he was a hard worker who was eager to learn.

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We had set up several appointments to go over the required material and complete several tests.  As we went through the PowerPoint slides and discussed fire safety information, he leaned forward, his pale blue eyes fixed intently on me as I went through the steps of responding to a Code Red and asked him questions like:  “What type of fires does an ABC extinguisher put out?”

I thought he’d only last an hour or two.  The material was as dry as dust, but he wanted to push on.   During a break, we stepped out of my office for a drink, and when we returned, I pulled out my keys.  As I searched for the right key, I made an off-hand comment that my home key and office key looked alike and I had trouble telling them apart.  I had been fumbling for months.

Albert’s eyes flashed. “That’s easy,” he said, explaining that I should go to the hardware store, buy a plastic key cover, and slip it over the key for easy identification.  He was right.  The answer was obvious, but it had eluded me.

“That’s a great idea,” I told him and I meant it.

As we worked through the other presentations, we paused from time to time to talk.  He told me about his identical twin brother, who was smart and lucky because he had never had a brain injury, and had never lost any intellectual or motor function.  “But he’s angry all the time,” Albert said.

“Why?” I asked.

He shrugged.  “I don’t know.  You know I could be angry like him.  But I decided I was going to be happy and I am.” And then, to confirm this, he smiled.

The wisdom in his words was startling.  The frisson of truth made me shiver a little.   Happiness is a choice.  Happiness is a gift that we can treasure or discard.   The choice is always ours.   Albert had every right to be angry– at the loss of his intellectual power, at the necessity of taking a lower-level job in the kitchen, his difficulty remembering and retrieving new information, and his limited chances of upward mobility and finding a partner who would be willing to share his life.  But instead, he had made the choice to be happy.

I took a deep breath and told him I admired him.  He shrugged and said he wanted to go back to work.

A few hours later, we were finished.  Albert shook my hand and thanked me. I told him it was a pleasure to work with him and I meant it.

From time to time, we see each other in the cafeteria.  Sometimes, he hands me a Tootsie Roll.  “For you,” he says.

I thank him and say, “How are you Albert?”

“I’m good,” he always says with a smile and I know he means it.

*Albert is not his real name.

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

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One step forward.  Two steps back.

That is what I remind myself this week, as I log in many hours on the couch, laid low by a nasty respiratory virus.  It has stopped me in my tracks, forcing me to push aside my work and wait, surrendering to my body and its needs.  Still, my mind leaps ahead, struggling with the delay, with my lack of progress.  I am not a good patient.

One step forward.  Two steps back.  This is our journey through life.  My time on the couch reinforces this bit of knowledge.  In my rush through daily life I had forgotten it again.  But as I linger on the sofa, I am forced to remember it.

This bit of wisdom was illustrated beautifully on our last trip to Paris.  We took the train to Chartres to visit its Gothic masterpiece.  Pushing open the heavy oak cathedral doors, we stepped into the shadows and were whisked back to the Middle Ages.  Dozens of flickering candles and magnificent stained glass windows scattered shards of light and color across the walls and floor.  We were dwarfed by the soaring majesty of its vaulted dome.  As we wandered around the perimeter of the nave, we found a space where the chairs had been cleared away to reveal a labyrinth inlaid in stone on the church floor.  Intrigued, my husband, son and I followed the path, falling into step behind two barefoot pilgrims, their feet moving in an odd ritualized dance.  One step forward.  Two steps back. Jubilant smiles flooded their faces with light and hope. Intrigued, we kept walking.

Unlike a maze with several alternative routes, the labyrinth has just one path, leading inevitably towards a goal at the center—in this case an engraved copper plaque, which was melted down during the French Revolution.   It pictured a six-petaled rose, the symbol of Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of love and beauty.  In the spirit of adventure, we followed the path as it wound through 4 quadrants, each with 7 turns.  As we walked, my mind skittered from thought to thought and then slowed.  I felt like a child again, playing a game, lost in the moment.  My son, who obediently followed the rules, moved in step behind the pilgrims, his eyes fixed on the path, a look of intense concentration on his face.   Even my husband, who is usually in a rush, lingered along the 666-foot path, called “Le Chemin de Jerusalem” or Road to Jerusalem, symbolizing the belief that walking the labyrinth was akin to making a sacred pilgrimage.

One step forward and two steps back.  I didn’t share the pilgrim’s faith or their religion.  But still, I followed the path, looping back and charging ahead, so unlike the arrow-straight highways and train lines, which I am familiar with.  The pilgrims’ odd dance went against the grain of my American upbringing and way of thinking–that human life and progress are linear, based on a straight progression from birth to death, from rags to riches, from oblivion to fame.  But as I grow older, I know the ancients are right.

The pilgrims’ odd dance illustrates a truth about life—that it is a circuitous route with blind alleys, double backs, and moments of confusion when we feel like we’re traveling in circles.   Progress is never linear.  It’s a series of false starts and even failure before eventual success.

Perhaps it is enough to simply recognize that we are all walking the labyrinth.  With patience and time, the answers to our questions and worries will come.  Only then, can we make sense of the roadblocks and detours.  It might take years of blindly stumbling one step forward and two steps back as we reach the goals we have set for ourselves.  For me, I have set myself with the goal-of staring down the blank page or staring through the lens of my camera and summoning my courage to reveal little bits of light, of truth.  With patience and tenacity, I’ll stumble through the darkness and find my way.

The same as true for you, I am sure of it.  Someday our paths will be as clear as the one inscribed on the church floor.  And when that day happens, we’ll look back and know the journey was worth it.  This is what we must believe, no matter what our religious beliefs.   We have to have faith that we will understand some day, just like the pilgrims who walked the path and found meaning in the journey, not just the destination.

What’s Your Excuse?

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She was anxious.  I could read it on her face.

She had glanced at my address as I finished placing an order for a new pair of eyeglasses, and asked if I liked living downtown.  “I love it,” I said, gesturing out the shop window at the people ice skating in the park across the street and the coffee shops, restaurants, museum, and hotels within the perimeter of my gaze.   “An apartment is so much easier to take care of than a house,” I added.   She nodded and told me she was also thinking of downsizing and moving nearby.    Her children were grown, she explained, and she was tired of the expense and upkeep of a house.  Besides, there was so much more to do downtown than in the suburbs.  Her kids were encouraging her to do it, but she still hadn’t made the move.

She bit her lip.  “I’d miss my garden,” she said, wistfully.  “I love to garden.  Don’t you miss it?”   I told her did, but visited parks and other outdoor spaces to fulfill my need for green.   She continued to quiz me, and list other reasons why she shouldn’t make the move–the effort, the time, the expense, the housing market.  In the end, she thanked me for my opinion and said she’d keep it in mind.  I had the distinct impression that she was stuck in the data gathering phase, weighing the pros and cons and opinions of people, but wouldn’t ultimately take action and make the move.

When facing change, many people “get stuck.” Why?  Putting on my therapist’s hat, I’d diagnose her failure to change for several reasons:  1.  She is afraid ;  2.  She doesn’t want to make a mistake;  3.  It takes time and energy to move;  4.  She’s wondering whether the financial and physical “cost” of moving will outweigh the benefits;  5. She is not sure what the change will “give” her;  6.  She knows the change necessitates giving up something(s) that is/are valued.

I’ve been there.  Sometimes I can think of a million reasons why I should stay “stuck.”  It’s uncomfortable place, but its familiarity is oddly comforting.

Now, it’s your turn.  Think about a change you are contemplating.  It may or may not be voluntary.   It could be personal or related to your career.   If you are “stuck” between action and inaction, you are not alone.   Do any of these excuses sound familiar?  They were compiled by Morgan W. Mc Call, Jr. who collected managers’ and executives’ responses to the question, “Why haven’t you changed something you believe you should have?”   Do any of them resonate with you?

  • You don’t accept the need to change
  • You don’t want to admit mistakes or flaws.
  • You aren’t motivated to change.
  • You are weighing the costs in time and energy.
  • The benefit is unclear.
  • You are not personally committed to the change.
  • You don’t see the real importance of change.
  • You don’t know how to change.
  • The change requires that you give up something of value.
  • You are not sure what the change will “give” you.
  • You are comfortable the way you are.
  • You are afraid of looking stupid or feeling incompetent.
  • You feel intimidated by others who have made the change already.
  • You are too busy to change.
  • People around you don’t support the change.
  • You are afraid to make mistakes.
  • You are afraid of failure.
  • You need to be liked.

In part 2 of this post, we’ll explore ways to overcome resistance to change.